


The Many Uses of a Sonic Swiss Army Knife

by spoilersweetie



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 23:04:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16544021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoilersweetie/pseuds/spoilersweetie
Summary: River is right, she realises as she presses herself against her; she really hadn’t noticed physical things all that much in her last form. It just wasn’t something her brain chose to absorb, deeming it superficial and a waste of memory space. Right now she would happily kick out the names of every planet in every solar system to make room for a lifetime’s worth of visions of River Song in every outfit she’d ever worn. Or not worn. Well she's the one blushing now.





	The Many Uses of a Sonic Swiss Army Knife

**Author's Note:**

> This is the Doctor's POV along with the missing middle scene from my fic "Landing on the Moon". No need to read that first, I've added the first part of it into this too so it makes sense on its own. Sorry about the title, it's trash like this fic. Enjoy!

Between trying to get her new friends home and running from giant spiders, all things considered the Doctor hadn’t had a lot of time to ponder her new form yet, only those twenty minutes or so as she’d stood in front of the mirror in a charity shop changing room. It had nudged at the back of her mind then, and every time she’d passed by a reflective surface and got a glimpse of herself since (it may be her thirteenth time round but one never got used to the disengaged feeling that came with the first few weeks of a new regeneration) she was reminded of it. The Doctor had never been a vain being (alright, not much) and she didn’t much care what form she ended up in (even if she did she feels she’d be pretty pleased this time round) but there was something that was really bugging her about this face.

“I know you,” she says as she locks eyes with herself in the mirror above the console. “Where have I seen you before?”

She sighs, knowing there is something so familiar about her new face but just being unable to place it.

“Am I just going mad?” She asks quietly, and the ship gives a soft whirr in response. Not amused - she knows that one. This was more of a soothing sound. “You know don’t you?” She asks the ship, which is silent. She stares at herself for another moment, racking her brains before she makes a sound of frustration

“You could help you know!” she says to the Tardis.

After a pause the engines roar to life and the Doctor grins, racing round the console to pull down the lever and send her into flight. When they land she flies to the scanner in excitement, only for her face to fall when it pulls up an image of a bare, grey surface.

“The moon? What’ve you taken me to the moon for?” She jabs a few buttons. “You’re losing the plot in your old age.”

The Tardis gives a lurch, throwing the Doctor almost off her feet into the console.

“Alright, alright,” She grumbles, pulling herself upright as the ships lights flicker and glow around her. “What are you trying to tell me then? Think, what’s on the moon…” She stares hard at the image. “Well - nothing currently. Not until around the fiftieth century when humans  _ finally _ get round to building that settlement they’ve been on about for the last thirty thousand years - and then it’s rubbish! I mean there’s nothing there except for that amusement park and the uni...versity…”

The Doctor trails off as her mouth falls open. “Luna,” she breathes, and suddenly she knows. 

“I remember,” she gasps, gripping tight to the console as her legs feel suddenly week. “I know where I’ve seen myself!”

Almost stumbling, she tears round to the other side to bring the engines back to life, typing in co-ordinates with hammering hearts. When she realises she only needs to move in time and not position, her hearts beat faster still with more hope. 

“Oh Please,” she whispers to the ship as her hand closes around the lever. “Please… please give me this.” 

She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and pulls the lever. 

\--

The Doctor paces in front of the blue door,

“She won’t know me,” she mutters, “She  _ can’t  _ know me - what if I was wrong, it  _ wasn’t _ me I saw with her all those times? Just someone that looked like me. Yeah, that was probably it, lots of women with short blonde hair - but why did the Tardis bring me here? Why did she let me come if -” She breaks off, letting out a sound of frustration. She stops her pacing to stare at the door. 

“But what if she does know me,” she whispers. Decision made, the Doctor marches up to the door and lifts her hand to knock. 

_ Or _ , what if it  _ had  _ been her but River never knew it was her. 

The Doctor thinks that one would be worse than her not knowing her at all. Having to pretend she wasn’t who she was. That River wasn’t her  _ wife _ . No. She couldn’t do that. She should leave. She spins on her heel and starts to march away from the house. 

_ But what if she knew her? _

She had to know. 

Whirling back around, the Doctor steps right up to the door, takes one deep breath, and knocks. 

The door opens. And River stands there, face lit by the soft light of the earth, hair loose and wild around her face (the Doctor’s favourite way) and a night robe wrapped around her. The Doctor can feel both her hearts pounding so hard she’s certain they must be audible, and she holds her breath as she looks into a face she never expected to be able to see again.

River smiles. “Hello sweetie.”

The Doctor feels her legs give out beneath her and drops to the floor on her knees as a wave of emotions - relief, joy -  _ greif _ \- wash through her and she buries her face in her hands. 

“Oh my love,” River is murmuring, on the floor with her now as she gently takes her wrists and pulls the Doctors hands from her face. “You’ve just regenerated haven’t you?” She tugs her close and the Doctor falls into her arms. “It’s alright,” she says softly, “I’m here.”

The Doctor clutches at River, and tries to take a deep breath and get control of herself. River pulls back to take her face in her hands and look at her and the Doctor can’t help but surge forward to kiss her desperately. 

It feels both like coming home and being in the twilight zone simultaneously. She had never thought she’d feel her wife’s lips against hers again, and it feels so familiar - and yet so different too. That would be the regeneration, she supposes vaguely somewhere in the back of her mind as she pushes her tongue against Rivers, hands gripping tight in her robe, wishing she could just melt into her and stay that way forever. 

When they part, she is short of breath and her hearts are beating double - no probably triple - time in her chest. She lifts a shaky hand to River’s face, still hardly able to believe she is before her like this, and finally manages a sheepish, “Hi. Can I come in?”

River laughs softly, and nods, pulling her to her feet and stepping in to kiss her again. The Doctor feels the soft thud of the porch wall against her back as River backs her into it, and to be honest she’s quite glad of the support because she’s not too certain she trusts her legs a hundred percent at the current moment. She winds her arms up round River’s neck, sighing softly into the deep kiss and realises with some startlement that she is now  _ shorter  _ than her wife. Quite a bit shorter, actually, she thinks as River leans her weight into her and presses her back against the wall. She wasn’t sure how she felt about this new development and briefly wonders if she should consider high heels. Heels! That must be it - River loved high heels. 

“Are you wearing high heels?” She pulls away to mumble against River’s mouth and River moves back to wing an eyebrow at her. 

“No,” she says, and the Doctor looks down to confirm for herself that she was, in fact, barefoot. Her face falls a bit. 

“Oh.”

River steps back and folds her arms. “Were you thinking about the fact that I’m taller than you now the entire time we were kissing?”

“No!” She immediately insists. “Well, maybe. A bit.” She looks between them. “It’s different.”

River chuckles. “It is very different this time.” She eyes the Doctor up and down pointedly. “How are you finding it?”

She shrugs. “Haven’t really thought about it much to be honest.”

“Of course you haven’t,” River rolls her eyes, then holds out a hand. “Shall we?”

River’s house is the same as she’d remembered, complete with that smell of her perfume and the old books she kept stacked on shelves around the living room. She was probably one of the only people in this century who even still knew what books were.

The Doctor clears her throat as they enter the living room. “Sorry - about -” She gestures to her red eyes with some embarrassment. “I’m a cryer now. I cry at everything. An emotional wreck really - it’s a bit ridiculous.”

“No you’re not,” says River patiently. “And I know you better than you know yourself at this current moment in time so there’s no use arguing,” she continues when the Doctor opens her mouth to do just that. She closes it again, not knowing what to say.

She knew River spent her whole life hiding things like this from her old selves - hiding how much she hurt her. Not intentionally of course, just their timey-wimey back-to-front lives. Also she was a bit of an idiot. Several times over. Maybe she’ll be better this time round. 

“I’ve just had a long day,” she says with a forced smile. “Nearly died - several times. Almost got my friends killed. Just a bit… tired. And still new. Think that must be it.”

Thankfully, River just nods, either accepting her explanation or deciding not to press her on it. 

“Sit, make yourself at home - you usually do,” Says River instead. “I’ll be right back.”

\--

A short while later inside the house she thought she’d never see again, the Doctor is settled comfortably on the sofa, legs draped over River’s lap and glass of wine in hand - because she drank wine now! She’d pulled a face when River had handed it to her but her wife had simply chuckled and said, “Trust me.” She takes another sip from her glass. Wine was great. Why had she never liked wine before?

Her eyes were still a bit red - she couldn’t believe she was a cryer this time around! And her head was still reeling from all the new information she’d learned. She’d mentally tried to recall the number of times she’d seen River with herself - as her past self - and hadn’t been able to remember exactly but decided it was a big enough number to feel excited about.  _ Her future _ . Her future was suddenly looking very bright.

“Only you would feel for a spider,” River rolls her eyes as the Doctor finishes telling her about her latest adventure. “A killer spider, at that.”

The Doctor shakes her head sadly. “It wasn’t her fault River. She didn’t understand what was happening to her.”

Rivers eyes soften. “You did everything you could sweetie,” she says, tucking the Doctor’s hair behind her ear with a gentle hand. She lets her fingertips trace the earcuff this version of her spouse wears, and after a moment the Doctor turns to her with a small smile.

“Do you like it?”

“Mhmm,” River smiles back, fiddling with the chain. “Jewellery is a new look on you.”

“I know! I’ve wanted an ear cuff for ages. Didn’t think it would go with the grey hair though.”

“Probably not,” agrees River.

“And...” the Doctor licks her lips, feeling shy in her new skin for the first time. “How about the rest?”

River moves her hand to her face and smiles at her. “You’re beautiful.”

The Doctor brightens. “Do you really think so?”

River nods and the Doctor beams. “Beautiful,” She muses. “I’ve never been beautiful before.”

River laughs. “You were always beautiful my love. And you always will be, no matter what body you’re in. This one just happens to be very pretty too.”

“Never been pretty before either,” she says with delight, and River chuckles, leaning forward to press a lingering kiss to her lips. As she moves back, the Doctor gets a glimpse down the front of her silk night robe and just sees the edge of something blue and possibly lacy. It distracts her, enough that she misses what River says next and has to ask her to repeat herself. When she finds that she’s still not able to focus on the words coming out of her wife’s lips, eyes drifting down twice more -  _ definitely  _ lacy - she makes to take a gulp from her glass of wine. 

“It’s empty,” she says, disappointed, and River rolls her eyes and holds her hand out for her glass. The Doctor jumps off her lap, keen for the distraction. “I’ll get it!”

“One more glass sweetie,” Says River as she lopes over to the kitchen. “You’re not used to alcohol and there’s not much of you this time round.”

“Ah nah, alcohol doesn’t affect me.” The Doctor informs her as she helps herself from the fridge. “Two hearts. My blood moves through my body too fast for it to take effect.”

“Mmhmm,” Replies River. “That’s exactly what you said in the french court before you fell down an entire flight of stairs.”

The Doctor sputters a bit as she pours her glass. “I was  _ not _ drunk - those stairs were incredibly slippery!”

“And you’d had eight glasses of champagne,” Chuckles River, closer now, standing behind her in the kitchen.

“It tasted like birthday cake,” the Doctor mumbles as she puts the bottle back in the fridge.

“I had my plus one privileges revoked by Marie Antoinette because of you.”

“She throws rubbish parties anyway,” the Doctor says sulkily, turning to face her with a full glass now in hand - which she promptly almost spills all over herself. 

River has let her robe fall open, and the Doctor finds out that the blue lace she had caught a glimpse of belonged to a very flattering set of underwear that now adorned her wife. 

She opens her mouth. And stares, powerless to do anything but let her eyes drag over the mostly nude form of her wife before her. She feels her breath catch in her chest and is suddenly aware of a distinct heat between her legs that she’d never felt before.  _ Lust _ , she realises, as her heart begins to pound and the heat builds. Of course it was. Had her wife always looked like this?

She finally swallows and lifts her eyes to meet River’s. “You’re so beautiful,” she breathes in awe, and is surprised to note that faintest hint of a  _ flush _ appear on River’s cheeks.

She brushes it off, smirking back at her. “I thought I’d put you out of your misery,” she says cheekily, letting a hand trail down over her body. “Still your favourite colour?”

The Doctor nods dumbly.

“I’m surprised you even noticed it to be honest,” she sounds genuinely impressed. “Your last self wouldn’t have noticed anything different if I’d stripped off and painted myself gold. And yes, I have done that - quite the party.”

“He was an idiot,” the Doctor breathes, choosing to brush over her last comment because she wasn’t certain she could deal with both that mental image of her wife along with the half naked River Song in front of her currently.  She swallows, licking her lips as River moves closer to her. “Because you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Radiant. Resplendent. Divine. Pulchritudinous. Ah - no. Forget that last one. Never saying that again.” 

River chuckles as she reaches her, but the Doctor is pleased to note that the flush is still visible on her cheeks.  _ Oh yeah, _ she thinks to herself, in the part of her brain that’s still vaguely functioning normally at the moment,  _ making River Song blush: still got it.  _

River is right, she realises as she presses herself against her; she really  _ hadn’t _ noticed physical things all that much in her last form. It just wasn’t something her brain chose to absorb, deeming it superficial and a waste of memory space. Right now she would happily kick out the names of every planet in every solar system to make room for a lifetime’s worth of visions of River Song in every outfit she’d ever worn. Or not worn. Well _s_ _ he _ is the one blushing now. 

River presses herself even closer, bending her head to let her lips ghost over the Doctor’s neck, pressing them lightly below her jawline, just by her ear - and she lets out a squeak and then she  _ does _ promptly spill her wine all over herself. 

River jumps back a bit, and the Doctor apologies hurriedly, spinning round to set down the offending glass safely on the countertop, grabbing for a cloth and quickly dabbing at her hand and arm. 

“Nice to see you’re not any more co-ordinated this time around love,” River says with amusement in her voice, and the Doctor huffs, pulling out her sonic to check it hadn’t got any splashes on it. She’s not certain how well wine would mix with the Stenza technology nestled inside.

She feels River’s arms slide round her waist, her body pressed up against her back now and she fumbles with the sonic, almost dropping it and mentally cursing herself when River giggles into her hair. She’s  _ not  _ clumsy - she hasn’t been so far! Where had it come from all of a sudden?

“Must be my alluring presence,” River purrs - and great! She was losing control of her voice as well as her limbs now too.

Her wife reaches out and plucks the sonic from her hand - rescuing it no doubt, before she could drop it into the sink - and flicks it on and off. 

“This is my favourite model you know,” she tells her. “But you really could have made it a little less obvious.”

“What?”

River holds it up in front of her. “None of your other sonics were ever shaped like this sweetie,” She purrs with a chuckle.

It takes a few suspended seconds for the Doctor to piece together her tone with the object in question and the implication to catch on. When it does her eyes widen. 

“That is not - I didn’t - that’s  _ not  _ what it’s for!” She exclaims, cheeks red. 

“Oh really?” Smirks River, trailing it down over the Doctor’s stomach. “Then what’s this setting for?” She flicks a switch  on it as she presses the tip between the Doctor’s legs directly over her clit and the Timelord cries out, hands flying to the countertop as her knees buckle. 

“Oh,” she pants, as waves of pleasure pulse through her. “ _ What _ -”

River flicks it off and the Doctor gasps for breath, trembling a little. 

“How did you do that?” She breathes as she leans heavily against the countertop, River pressed against her back. 

“You made it sweetie, not me.”

The Doctor is  _ certain _ she hadn’t installed any settings like… well,  _ that _ . 

“I did not know it could do that,” she breathes, and River chuckles, her breath hot on the Doctor’s neck as she nuzzles her hair. 

“Want to see what else you didn’t know it could do too?”

The Doctor feels herself inhale sharply at River’s words, before she nods hurriedly. 

She feels River’s hands snake round her stomach, pushing her coat off and dragging her braces off her shoulders before fumbling with her trousers until she can peel them and her underwear down over her hips. She feels cold metal press against bare skin and gasps, before River places a hand between her shoulder blades and pushes her down over the countertop. 

“It was about time I bent  _ you _ over this counter instead of the other way round, wouldn’t you say sweetie?”

“You loved it River Song,” She manages to find enough voice to quip back and is rewarded with River’s throaty laugh, and the feel of her front pressed to the Doctor’s back again, leaning her heavily into the counter. 

“ _ Always _ , my love,” River breathes in her ear, and she feels her hand trail down between them, sliding over her backside and giving it a brief squeeze before she feels her fingers slip down between her legs. 

The Doctor’s fingers curl into the cool granite surface of the countertop, her heart pounding in her chest and senses in overdrive at the new sensations shooting through her body at the touch of River’s fingers. It was like pressure, and burning, and ache, and buzzing… like a little tiny sonic mine had been set off between her legs. 

“That’s a new one,” River says, amused. 

“Did I say that out loud again?”

“Yes.”   
She opens her mouth to reply but all that comes out is a gasp when she feels two of River’s fingers push inside her. They only slip in a little way before she withdraws them and they dance back over her sex to flick against that little place that makes her hips jump before easing back inside her, deeper this time. She realises she’s holding her breath and reminds herself not to do that, gasping again a bit as River’s fingers slip out before pushing in even further. 

“God you’re tight,” she hears River murmur then feels her lips by her ear again. “Is this your first time?”

“What!?” She splutters. 

“In this body sweetie,” she can hear the amusement in River’s voice.

“Oh. Yeah. I suppose it is,” she mumbles. “Gonna be gentle with me?” She quips and feels River smirk against her neck. 

“Not a chance.”

The Doctor’s delighted laugh is cut short when River’s fingers leave her and she feels something cold and hard push inside her. She lets out another gasp, her inner muscles contracting at the sensation as her wife eases her sonic deeper inside her, and then she tilts it  _ just so _ and -

“Ah!” She cries out, body jumping at the jolt of pleasure. It’s a very strange sensation but certainly not an unpleasant one - she is briefly startled to realise that this hadn’t been something she’d considered the differences of yet; sex in this new body. Bit daft, now she was thinking of it; it was probably the biggest change that came with it this time and suddenly she wants to know  _ everything.   _

She can feel the tip of the sonic nudging at a place inside her that makes her vision swim, River working it expertly and the Doctor can feel all the muscles in her abdomen tighten and her head spin with a perfect mix of pleasure-pain that was just intense enough to set her hearts racing. 

“You okay?” River checks, voice soft and the Doctor can only nod. It’s the first time she’s been completely speechless in this new form and she takes a moment to marvel at the sensation before River does -  _ something _ \- and a whirring sound fills the air and white hot waves of pleasure instantly flood her body. 

The orgasm comes fast - so to speak - one moment she has her cheek pressed against the cold surface of River’s kitchen counter and the next she’s seeing stars, back arched and body shuddering violently as she twists with pleasure, and she’s pretty sure she hears a scream (probably her own) as the waves thrum through her over, and over, until she’s begging River to stop for fear if she took any more it might send her straight into her next regeneration. 

“Are you alright? Sweetie?” She hears River’s voice blearily through the spinning in her head, and realises she’s slumped on the floor - not sure how that happened - and her wife is smoothing her hair back from her face with gentle hands. “Doctor?” 

Gasping for breath, she just manages to nod as she blinks at River, kneeling in front of her on the floor. 

“I’m sorry - maybe we should have taken that a little slower…”

“No,” she shakes her head quickly, letting it drop back with a thud against the cupboard at her back. “That was bloody fantastic.”

River laughs then, moving to sit next to her against the cupboards. 

“How did I get down here then?”

“Seems I can make your knees weak in every regeneration,” River winks at her and she rolls her eyes a bit. 

“Just you wait River Song,” she says, a bit embarrassed to note that her voice was slightly wobbly. “We’ll see who’s knees are weak in a minute.” 

Her wife laughs again, letting her fingers dance over the Doctor’s bare thigh. “Ooh is that a promise?”

“Too right it is,” She turns her head to grin at her. “Just as soon as I can stand again.”

River ends up helping her off the floor - her legs were working fine again but she’d forgotten about the trousers caught round her ankles until she’d tried to get up. Making a fool of herself in front of her wife - seemed like some things never changed anyway. 

Once safely on her feet, River holds out a hand for her to take with a suave; “Maybe we should take this upstairs?”

The Doctor nods and lets River lead her towards the stairs

“Ooh, hang on!” She drops her hand and darts back to the kitchen, pausing to scoop what they’d forgotten off the floor. 

Sonic swiss army knife indeed. She grins at it before racing off up the stairs after River. Best thing she’d ever built. 

**Author's Note:**

> I seriously cannot with the shape of that thing though. I can't be the only one thinking it...


End file.
